Stalker! Letters From a Bighead
by SiriuslyInsane62442
Summary: James and Lily share a summer through letters. Hilarity and bigheadness ensues, as well as... Romance? Where did that come from?
1. James begins

Stalker! Letters From A Bighead

Chapter One: James

Written by Pinky

------------------------------------------------James H. Potter-----------------------------------------

23 Godric's Hollow

Marauder HQ

July 28, 1977

To: Lily Evans

From: James H. Potter

Hey Lily,

What's going on? Interestingly enough, nothing has happened in my life so far. Well, unless you count Peter blowing his cauldron up within 15 minutes of buying it. And if you count me hexing Snivellus's pants off when I saw him in Diagon Alley. And if you count me getting stuck in Borgin and Burkes for an hour while Lucius was there with his father. And if you count- Okay, well, maybe a lot _has_ been going on.

I GOT HEADBOY! Can you believe it? Probably not. I bet you got Head Girl, I know you did. You always got those kinds of things. I think Remus is still Prefect. Sirius, of course, is still Sirius. But he's got some rather nice things planned out for next school year. Can't wait!

And, damnit, it's NEWT year! I can imagine you've been studying. And before you ask, yes, I have been rotting my brains out. Nothing in there, nope.

Hey, know what's funny? Sirius thinks that Mel, your friend, is hot. He's probably going to ask her out sometime this year. Don't write to him, he'll just bother you endlessly about "Sirius-serious" jokes and blabbing on about Mel. I tried, and all I got was a bunch of jokes that didn't make sense. I'm supposed to meet him at Zonko's later, maybe if I blow up a Dungbomb in his face, it'll knock some sense into him.

My mum told me to say hello to you. In fact, she sent a message with my letter, I have no idea what it says, so if it's really stupid or embarrassing, let me know, and I'll yell at her for you.

Yours,

James H. Potter

P.S. Would you murder me if I asked you out for Christmas holidays?

-----------------------------------Not As Bigheaded As We Seem----------------------------------

----------------------------------------Mrs. Potter, 23 Godric's Hollow-----------------------------

23 Godric's Hollow

The Kitchen

July 28, 1977

To: Lily Evans

From: Mrs. Potter

Lily, darling,

Hello! How have you been? I hope your summer has been going all right. How are your parents? Your sister? Say hello to them for me, I met them last year, wonderful people.

James was talking about you all summer, you know, so I was wondering, would you and some of your friends would like to come over here for the last two weeks of summer, or so? I imagine Sirius, Peter, and Remus would be here as well. James talks of nothing else, you know. I can say that I would want no other girl for him but you.

Sorry for the brief note, but I really must run. Also, don't mind James' footer, he thinks that it's rather funny. He said something about it being based off of you.

With love,

Mrs. Potter.

-----------------------Reprimanding Marauders for the Last Six Years---------------------------


	2. Lily's Reply

Stalker! Letters From a Bighead

Chapter 2: Lily

Written by: Manchot du Destin (the penguin)

Disclaimer: neither pinky nor the penguin owns the story or any of the characters. Sorry.

........................................Ms Lily Marie Evans...........................................

To: James Potter

From: Lily Evans

Date: July 30, 1977

Dear Mr. Potter,

Thank you ever so kindly for writing to me and informing me of all your simply _charming_ escapades. But please. Leave me alone. I don't want to hear about you hexing harmless passersby, sneaking into Knockturn Alley, or even, believe it or not, exploding cauldrons. As for my life, it is wholly _none of your business_. Suffice it to say that I, unlike you, will be finishing my homework _before_ boarding the Hogwarts Express. And when I get together with my friends, people don't run for cover.

Head boy? Really? Well that's—surprising. Quite an accomplishment for someone who has never been seen cracking open a book. Honestly, Potter, not all books bite. And yes, I am head girl. As such, I would have to insist that you be responsible, keep up good grades, and act in a professional manner around me. We want to make Hogwarts look good. That means no pranks, no constant flirting with me, and acting mature. You have to set a good example for the younger students; they'll be looking up to you, goodness forbid.

Please inform Sirius Black that if he carries out any of his "plans" I will personally see to it that he gets his share of detentions. And if he's anywhere near as 'charming' as you are, I'm sure Mel will run as fast as she can in the other direction. (I doubt your dung bomb plan will work. If it was possible to knock sense into Black, it would have happened long ago.)

And tell Remus hello.

I won't even bother telling you that if you don't study and fail all your NEWTs, you'll ruin all your chances of becoming an auror. Even though it's true. Really, Potter, I'd love for you to deflate your head, but ruining your future is hardly the way to go about it.

I wouldn't worry about your mother embarrassing you, Potter, you do quite well enough on your own. Your mother is so sweet, I sometimes wonder if you're really related at all.

I will ignore the ridiculous post script. But Potter, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times: leave me alone. Please. I don't like you, Potter, you are an arrogant prat in every way. So please. Give up and leave me alone. (And yes, if you ask me about Christmas break again, I will describe your death for you in great detail, and with astounding imagery.)

Sincerely,

Lily Marie Evans

PS: You will address me by my last name _Mr. Potter_. Only friends have the privilege of calling me Lily.

PPS: Please change your footer, it's not considered polite to lie.

................................Independent and Proud Of It.....................................................

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

.....................................Lily Marie Evans...................................................

To: Mrs. Potter

From: Lily Evans

Date: July 26, 1977

Mrs. Potter!

Hello! I haven't heard from you in ages! Thanks so much for asking, I've been having a wonderful summer. Did you hear? I've been made head girl! I could hardly open my letter, I was so nervous, and I could hardly believe it when I saw the badge. I really think I can help make a difference at Hogwarts this year, you know? Make things better for everyone. I can hardly wait.

My parents are well, they're so supportive of having a witch in the family. And they're so proud of me; they make me want to smile until I up and glow. Petunia's on cloud nine, herself. Her boyfriend asked her to marry him the other day. For the first time since I got my letter, she's really included me in her life again, and I can't help but love the change.

Wow, thank you so much for the invitation. I'm XXXXX—sorry about the cross out there. I'd love to come visit you, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I mean, well, I'd love to. I suppose we'll get in touch about the details when we get closer to the time. And thank you again for opening your home up like this, you're such an amazing mother, and I'm just eternally sorry you have to deal with James all summer. Sorry, just kidding, really.

James's footer was based off of something I said? Oh wow, I wonder what.

Thanks again!

Love from,

Lily

PS: I love the footer. Can I borrow some of that stationary some time?

.....................................Independent and Proud Of It.....................................


	3. James' Reply

Stalker! Letters From a Bighead

Chapter Three: James

Written By: PinkyTheSnowman (The Snowman)

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Neither does the penguin. We swear!

--------------------------------------------James H. Potter---------------------------------------------

23 Godric's Hollow

Marauder HQ

July 31, 1977

To: Madam Lily Evans

From: Sir James Potter

Dear Lily,

Where did "Mr" come from? That's my dad... But, then again, I suppose it's better than plain old "Potter". Mr. Potter sounds much more dignified... Probably why people don't call me that very often, unless you count McGonagall.

You are very welcome, it was a pleasure to share my summer with you. And of course they were charming, they were mine. If you didn't want to hear it, you wouldn't have read it. So there, ha! And homework is for people that need help with the work, thanks. I think it's an honor to have people running for cover around you. I like explosive people. I seem to remember that one time that people ran away from _you_, darling, when you were shouting at me for hexing Snape.

I know, it is rather a shock. My own mum didn't believe me. In fact, she thought I had stolen Remus's, or something. You know it isn't good when your own mother thinks that... But then again, it's part of the Marauder code. I have _too_ opened a book. I was reading _Quidditch through the Ages_ just yesterday. And for your information, every other book that I have opened bit me. And it hurt. Or maybe Sirius just hexed them all. So you understand why I don't open books.

I don't _constantly_ flirt with you, Lily, just most of the time. I _am_ responsible; you've seen how many pranks I've taken responsibility for. My grades are always good; I seem to remember you yelling at me for never studying yet getting good OWLs anyways. Professional manner? Professional flirt, maybe. Acting mature? Mature is not in my vocabulary, sorry. And you're Head Girl as well! You realize Heads get their own dorms? How cool is that? Sadly, they're connected at the bathroom... And on the younger student note, they always look up to me, are you kidding? I'm about three feet taller than them!

Oh no you aren't, you are NOT giving out detentions to my friends just because they ask some girl out that they like. That's cruel and unusual punishment, that is. And I am much more charming than Sirius, thank you. He has manners like a dog. And, for your information, Mel is probably head-over-heels in love with Sirius, just like the other girls who aren't obsessed with me, of course. Excuse me, the dungbomb thing did work. For a minute.

Remus? No comment... Oh, and he said 'hello' and 'congrats'. Just about it.

Well, you did bother. And now I'm bothered. Sheesh, Lily. You act like my mum, except, well, more yelly-ish, if that's even a word. You're probably going to respond and tell me that yellyish means bogies in Bulgarian, or some other language. Or that it means nothing at all. But I don't really want to go into more detail about your need to correct people, no matter how sweet you may be. Ah, well, every flower has thorns, including lilies, I suppose. My head isn't all that big, you'd be surprised. You have a bigger one. And, if you really must know, I'm not going to ruin my future. McGonagall told me during career discussion that I was a very gifted boy that no doubt would find a suitable form of work. So there. Your darling teacher said so herself.

My mother _does _embarrass me, thank you very much. You should have been there, that time she tried to drag me to that underwear store... Ooh, let's not go there. If you really want to know, you can ask her yourself. I will not undignify myself telling that horrible story. I suppose she can be sweet, but still, it's different when she's your mum. Of course we're related, I can be just as sweet as she can if I wanted to be. Which is pretty much never, but you know what I mean. Oh, and she said that you're a darling (which I of course already knew), and that of course you can stay... Wait. Hold it. You're staying with all your friends...? Excellent!

Well, if you didn't read the post script, then you shouldn't know that it was ridiculous. However, you apparently did know. So you must have read it. And if you had chosen to ignore it, then you wouldn't have written to me about it. My powers of interpretation are unmatched. And I don't really feel like leaving you alone, you need somebody normal to talk to instead of your sister, who just got married, according to my mum. She was rather happy about it. Enclose a picture for her, will you? And I don't give up, you should know by now, considering that you've told me a million times, and each time, I ignore it. I'm not _that_ arrogant... You should meet Carver McMillan. Bit of an airhead, really. Oh really? Well, describing and imagination never hurt anybody. What about Valentine's Day weekend, then?

Yours,

James H. Potter

P.S. Fine. I will. But only for you, since you demanded. My mother wanted the same thing...

P.P.S. I will call you whatever I want, Lily darling. I _am _your friend, what are you talking about? And besides, it wouldn't be good for two people that have to share the same bathroom for a year to not like each other...

---------------------------I Love Lily Evans and She Darn Well Knows It ----------------------


	4. A Less than polite Reply from Lily

Stalker! Letters From a Bighead

Chapter 4: Lily

Written by: Le Manchot du Destin (the penguin of doom…)

Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter and co, write? Well, I'm not JKR. Neither is Pinky. Well, unless she's got something she hasn't been telling me… (Basically, we don't own any of this…)

..........................................................Lily Marie Evans..........................................................

To: James H. Potter

From: Lily M. Evans

Date: August 1, 1977

Dear James Potter,

I hope you realize how contrary you are. You ask me not to call you "Mr. Potter" and then turn around and refer to yourself as "Sir James Potter." I'm not quite sure what you're playing at with that, but if you're trying to make yourself up as some sort of knight in shining armor, I must say it's making me slightly sick to my stomach. And Potter, you need to get this through your abnormally thick skull: I am no damsel in distress. I'm a highly competent witch, head of my class, and I'm more than capable of hexing you into next week. I _wouldn't_, as it's against the rules, but I assure you, I could.

Potter, I don't know why you persist in writing, asking me out, sending me singing valentines, and downright annoying me in all of the other inexplicable ways you seem so keen to do. All I can say at this point is what I've been saying for the past seven years. Leave. Me. Be. There is no way I will ever go out with you. So give up.

Now I do realize that you've been ignoring my blatant declarations on this subject for years, but maybe I haven't been clear enough. Firstly, I'd never go out with someone who simply didn't _care_ about school or any of the thousand students and teachers who spend their lives there. School is important, Potter, and you don't seem to have grasped that.

Secondly, I've seen how you and your crowd treat girls. _I'm not a possession._ I'm a person. End of story.

Thirdly, Potter, I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but you are a masochist. You are a male chauvinist. Simply spoken, you think you're more capable because you're a boy. Sure, you don't say it, and I know that you'll protest when you read this, but Potter, your actions speak for themselves. You treat girls as dolls, playing with them and putting them back on their shelf. Because you don't think they're capable of fending for themselves. That's one of my least favorite things about you. As I said above, I could hex you clean into next week. Don't doubt it for a second.

Next is your attitude. You're stuck up, arrogant, prig who looks down on basically everyone. You're a bully, teaming up with your friends against one person. You cheated on that Charms test last year, and you don't do your homework. And you don't see anything wrong with your behavior. You have no idea how many people you hurt with your pranks, and frankly, I doubt that you even care. The only person you care about is yourself, and you make the fact quite obvious to everyone you meet.

Finally, and this isn't a personality trait, just an observation, a fact. Potter, you don't run in the same circles as I do, you have different values and priorities than I do, and you don't seem to understand what that means. We're different, and while I can see it quite clearly, you don't seem inclined to even look. You don't know me; all you see when you look at me is that I'm that one girl that turned you down. Where most girls have been drooling over your jumbled hair and tall stature for years, I just don't care. So please, forget it. Go back and pull pranks on people, fool around with your friends, and get yourself a girlfriend who cares. Because that's not me.

I'm sorry if anything I've said has been offensive, but I couldn't think of anything else to do. You've been stalking me for years now, and nothing else I've done has made the slightest difference. So please forgive any discourtesy in this letter. When you finish reading, put it down, tear it up, or throw it in the fire. But don't bother replying.

Sincerely,

Lily Marie Evans

PS: Ask your mother when she wants my friends and me to come stay. And send her my love, of course.

PPS: "Yellyish" is _not_ a word. Although it does slightly resemble the archaic Greek phrase—nevermind.

……………………...Keeper of Knowledge and Dangerous Hexes………………………

_Thanks to the reviewers, by the by. And Pinky and I got a review the other day which predicted that yellyish was going to be Greek. Which surprised us greatly, as I'd already written this chapter and put that in there…and besides, yellyish is indeed complete nonsense…_

_So thanks, and please do review…or I'll set Lily on you! (kidding, kidding…or am I?)_


	5. James' Response

Stalker! Letters from a Bighead

Chapter 5: James

Written By: Pinky (the melting blob of snow)

Disclaimer: Do I look like JKR to you? Do I?

-----------------------------------James H. Potter-----------------------------------

23 Godric's Hollow  
Marauder HQ  
Date: August 2, 1997  
To: Lily Evans  
From: James Potter

Dear Evans,  
I did, in fact, ask you not to call me Mr. Potter. Sir and Mr. are entirely different things. Sir is more dignified. I am most certainly not a knight, do I look like I run around in shining armor to you? I think you've read too many tairy fales, or whatever those Muggle books are called. I _know_ that you aren't a "damsel in distress". You are a rather insulting girl in permanent distress. I also am a highly competent wizard, top of my class. Of the male half, anyways. And I beat you on OWLs two years ago. Come on, you know I'd hex you first. I'm a Marauder for a reason, you know. Avoiding hexes from Snivellous comes in handy. I'm sure you could, and what would you do? Jinx me to take notes for McGonagall?

You know very well why I "bother" to write letters and attempt to get you to go out with me. I LIKE YOU! Do you not get that? Now look who has a thick skull... Singing Valentines are for kicks, Lily-Flower. James Potter doesn't give up, sorry.

I _do _care about the school. You have absolutely no idea, do you? This is my home, Lily. This is where I'd stay, if I had a choice. Homework and classes are a small price to pay for being with the friends I love. I can see my parents any time. My friends mean so much more to me than nearly anything. You just think I'm such a shallow, stupid, prankster with nothing on my mind but girls and jokes, but you're wrong. There is actually a person in this body, you know.

School _is_ important. Gives you something to do between now and being 17.

I know you're not a possession. You're not like other girls, and that's what I like about you.

I think they are in fact, capable of defending for themselves. I am certainly not more capable because I am a guy, I am just more capable than most girls in our year. And most guys, as a matter of fact.

MY attitude? Look at yours. Read your letter. Sounds pretty arrogant to me, or maybe that's just me being arrogant again. I don't know. I did not cheat. I don't cheat for anything. I might be a bit of a loser at times, but I don't cheat. That was low, Evans.

Um, excuse me? I only care about myself? I happen to care about a LOT of people, Evans. Including you, Sirius, Peter, and Remus. I care about more people than you would know, since you spend all of your time sounding arrogant and accusing ME of sounding arrogant.

I know we have different opinions and values. But maybe that's because we're different people. I mean, your friend Mel, she's all hyper, sort of average student, loud, gets in trouble, and you're her best friend, so your little comment there doesn't work. And you're wrong, Lily. I do notice you for what you are. You're brilliant in mind, beautiful in person, and striking in personality. You stand for what you believe, I would know. You fight for what's right. Degrade what's wrong. You love most others as much as you love your family. Isn't that right, Evans?

I don't have jumbled hair and a tall stature. I have messy hair that I can't do anything about, and I am tall for my age.

A girlfriend that cares, and that isn't you. I spot a problem. You aren't my girlfriend. And as of now, I don't care either.

Oh, you better be sorry, Evans. You are so harsh, you think you're right, but you say yourself, that no matter how much you hate something, you shouldn't attempt to hurt it. Take your own advice.

--James

P.S. My mother said anytime.

P.P.S. She asked for a picture of Violet and her boyfriend, or whatever your sister's name was.

P.P.P.S. How did I know.

-------------------------------------Injured Heart------------------------------------


	6. Lily Makes Ammends Maybe

Stalker! Letters From a Bighead

Chapter 6: Lily

Written By: Penguin of Doom…doom, doom, doom…. (Echo, echo, echo…)

Disclaimer: The person who owns Harry Potter and co. has initials of JKR…mine are…um…oh, yeah, NOT JKR. Therefore, I don't own any of it.

…………………………………..Lily Marie Evans………………………………….

To: James H. Potter

From: Lily M. Evans

Date: August 9, 1977

Potter.

Look, I don't want you to read anything into this letter. Nothing. But, well, I do realize that some of what I said could be taken harshly. I'm-----sorry. I really am. I'm sorry if I was too ruthless in my last letter, I know I was inconsiderate. It's just that you tend to drive me up a wall and down again. So, before I go on, I have to say that I sincerely hope you haven't taken umbrage at my last letter. Please accept my apology.

Moving on, the issue remains. Potter, you say you like me, and you've been saying it for years. You accuse me of having a thick head when I don't acknowledge it. But Potter, you can say it all you like, but your actions speak otherwise. I don't like you, and I know I've made it clear, especially since my last, rather regrettable letter. But you persist. Potter, if you liked me as much as you say you do, you'd respect my wishes. And it's an undeniable fact that I _don't_ want to go out with you. I just don't _feel_ that way about you.

You're a person. I know that, and I'm sorry if I slighted you, your friends, or your family with my previous letter. I didn't mean what I said. It's just that education is one of my top priorities, and I can't understand how you can have so little interest in it. Your education will turn into your future someday, you know. But in your letter, you made it sound as if education was "a small price to pay" to get to the _really_ important things. I have to disagree.

Potter, there are plenty of girls who are "different." It's not like I'm special here, it's just that the girls you tend to come in contact with are so shallow that you assume they're the only type. Believe me, Potter, there are plenty more like me.

You're more capable how, Potter? I've seen you at King's Cross, and you have trouble making it through one muggle train station without breaking the International Statute of Secrecy. You may be better than many at Quidditch, or Defense Against the Dark Arts, but that doesn't make you more capable. As long as you're at Hogwarts with your friends, you can be "the marauders" and wreak havoc throughout. But there's a life outside of Hogwarts, and it's _there_ that you have trouble. There is reality, you know. And you're not the strongest or the fastest out there.

I'm sure that as soon as I owl this, I'll regret the sentence above. It's true,you know. But it's not meant to hurt, or scare you off. I just want to give you a general bit of advice: it might benefit you to remember what it's like _not_ to be at the top of the food chain, because when the real world hits you, it'll hit you hard.

I apologize for my attitude, asyoufind it so undesirable. We all know that I live for your approval.

Look, Potter, I've read your letters, and you sound sweet. If I didn't know you, I might even like you. But I can't. Because every time I start to, I remember how you _act._ I remember how you cursed the trousers off that Slytherin third year, last October, when he wouldn't have had a chance to defend himself. I've seen you and your friends gang up on Snape, or any other Slytherins who happen to be around. I've seen you, Sirius, and Peter laughing at people who don't like you, making spectacles of them. Not only Slytherins, either, but others as well. And it makes me sick.

Yes, I know you'll reply saying that "they deserved it" and "they provoked you" and "it was self-defense" and other nonsense. And if I didn't know you, I might believe you. But I was there, and I've seen it. I've seen you curse people just for "existing" (that's a quote from your own lips) and I can't stomach it.

I know I said this before, but one day you'll find out what it's like to be the one being teased, or cursed, or ganged up on. Maybe then you can claim to "care" about people. Not just your friends, Potter, but people. Just plain people, whatever their house, not caring whether they're good at Quidditch, or if they can know a good bat-bogey hex. Maybe then you'll see what I mean.

Alright, I know, I'm getting worked up again. I'll try to keep that under control, but that's my general reaction to you. But I'm working on it.

Um, okay. Wow. I just reread your letter, and I have to say that you overestimate me. I'm not brilliant, beautiful, or striking. I'm just, well, and forgive the cliché in this response, but I'm just Lily Evans. And I do well in school, I stand up for what I believe in, and do care about other people. But that's just me, nothing special. (Oh, and when you say "degrade what's wrong"…I know we can all agree that I degraded you last letter. Does that mean you were wrong? Oh, alright, I'm sorry, I just had to play the devil's advocate there. Personal hobby of mine.)

_I_ don't happen to think that you're "statuesque and rugged" (a direct quote from Lara Sylvan, that sixth year girl), but then again, I think I've made it rather clear that I don't go for your type. And before you attack me for that, I mean I don't like black hair. Blondes are better, and people who've met a comb more than just in passing. And looking up at you cranes my neck. I'm more for the quiet, studious guys.

I can't believe I just told you that.

I admit it, I was wrong. Sometimes, when you're around, and yes, even when it's just the da—the letters you sent, I just kind of lose control. I guess I'm so used to getting pranked and tricked by you that I automatically go into an offensive mode. Even if you're being sincere. I am sorry, and I hope you realize how much. I know that parts of this letter were just as judgmental as my other letter, but I hope that you realize that they were not meant to hurt. I sometimes tend to say things without processing them first.

I'm trying though, I don't know if you noticed. I tried to lighten up this letter a bit. Mel and I are coming August the 17, so I figure that you and I ought to be on speaking terms. It would make things less awkward. And more fun.

In all seriousness, though, James, you've got one chance. It's contradictory, meeting you and speaking to you through letters. I feel like I'm talking to two completely different James Potters, and I don't know which is the real one.

I suppose that what I'm suggesting a kind of—trial friendship. Just to make my visit bearable, you understand. And just to see if people really can change, to see if you've finally grown up. If this letter personality is "you," not just some fun thing you're doing this summer, then maybe we can be friends. (The operative word there being _friends_. I still will not go out with you.)

Apolgies,

Lily Marie Evans

PS: I've included a picture of _Petunia_ and her fiancée, Vernon Dursley. And yes, he is as _solid_ as the name implies. See the attached picture.

PPS: They're called fairy tales. Not tairy fales. Just for future reference.

…………..Bandaging up the Wounded Pride, and Hoping for Forgiveness………………


	7. James' Retaliation Sort Of

Stalker! Letters from a Bighead

Chapter 7: James

Written by: The Silly Snowman Who Happens to be Pink

Disclaimer: I honestly doubt JK Rowling would pose as a snowman.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------James H. Potter----------------------------

To: Lily Evans  
From: James Potter  
Date: August 10, 1977

Dear Lily,

Don't worry about it. I get what you meant, and probably half it was true. Apology accepted. Wow, Lily Evans sorry... It must be my birthday. Actually, it is my birthday. What do you know. Happy birthday to me, I guess.

I _do_ like you. My actions speak otherwise? I'm not evil to you... Am I? I actually do respect your wishes. But my wishes come first to me, because I'm not committed to anybody at the moment. Really, Lily? Do you think you ever _could_?

Again, apology accepted. You can't understand it? Wow. I'll enlighten you, then. I do care, but not as much as you do. Why? Because it is trivial compared to the other things. Friends don't care if you're smart. Well, the good ones don't. You mean you'd forsake friendships, love, families, _life_, for an education?! Wow.

Well, maybe that's true. But still. Show me one other girl that is like you. Smart and pretty. I dare you.

I _am_ more capable. I'm just not capable of holding back my magic in front of Muggles. I love magic! I am very good at defense, I will tell you that. And I will also tell you that I got straight O's for OWLs in fifth year. Even for evil Professor Monaghan. I know there's a reality! Voldemort and his loony followers are attacking Muggles in broad daylight! And you know what, I'm going to help. I'm going to fight him. When I get out of here, I will. Then, I'll settle down. Once that loony is gone. I know I'm not the strongest. I know I'm not the fastest. I just know that I'm strong and fast enough.

I'm sure you will. You regret most things. Live for the moment!

You know what, he _did_ deserve it. He called you a damn Mudblood! it makes you sick, huh? Then why do you watch? I hate Slytherins. They killed most of Sirius and Remus' family. Remember?

I did, just for their existence. As their friend, I need to help make their lives as miserable as possible, to get even for making them miserable. You didn't know that, did you?

I'm sure I will. But for now, I'm good. Live for the moment, Lily. And besides, with this war going on, it's going to be a "fend for yourself or die" situation soon enough. My dad tells story about the war in his time.

Good to hear it.

I don't overestimate you. You _are_ brilliant. You _are_ beautiful. You _are_ striking. You just don't know it. Ask any bloke. (Well, except for maybe Snapey and Peter) That's why I like you. _You're just Lily Evans_. You don't fall all over me. You don't try to impress me. And don't tell me that I like you because you're a challenge to me. I like you because you are just Lily Evans. Not Lily Evans the stupid-mindless-girl-who-falls-all-over-me. I'm not wrong. You were degrading me, but I wasn't wrong. That's just a habit of yours.

You don't like me because I have black hair? You won't give me a chance because I have a hair color that isn't your favorite? Maybe I was wrong when I said that you weren't one of those shallow girls that go for appearance. And excuse you, I _have_ met a comb. It ran away screaming.

Quiet... Studious... Blonde... Does Lily Evans have a crush on Remus? Personally, I can't either. Remus, well... That's new. He has a girlfriend, you know. Madeleine Biller. Know her? She's a Ravenclaw. Bloody brilliant, that one.

Oh. So you see me as a provocative (not in _that_ way) jerk? Is that why you're always so short with me? I _do_ realize how sorry you are. You wouldn't be groveling otherwise. Yes, I have noticed that little habit of yours... Speaking without thinking. Bad, bad, Lily.

Oh, I noticed. Although, it's much heavier than the other letter... I know you're screaming right now. August 17? Um, isn't that in like a week? Sirius, Remus, and Peter will be there too. So I guess we'll have plenty of fun. Sirius has been bugging me about Mel... Can you ask her about him? I really think Sirius could actually be sirius around her... I can see your face right now. Screwed up in agony at the horrible joke.

One chance? Just one? Damn... Two completely different ones? Describe the two. I don't think I get what you're saying.

Okay, a "trial friendship" seems okay... Especially once Mel starts snogging with Sirius, it'll just be me, you, Remus, and Peter. Okay, that sounds reasonable. I can deal with growing up a bit. See the sacrifices I make for you? This is a fun thing, Lily. But at the same time, it's me. Hmm? (Damn.)

See you in a bit,

James

P.S. Oh, sorry. I can never remember. Solid, eh? Oh, man. My mum just opened the picture, she's so happy right now... Can't imagine why...

P.P.S. Oh okay. For future reference... I'm sure that I'll appreciate the info... Thirty years from now.

----------------------------------------------Remus, eh?----------------------------


	8. Lily Makes A Vow and Breaks It, But Not ...

Stalker! Letters from a Bighead

Chapter 8: Lily

Written by: le manchot du destin

Disclaimer: I know it must be shocking, but I haven't suddenly morphed into JKR, so I still don't own these characters…

…………………………………...…......................Lily Marie Evans...…..................……….....……………………….

To: James Potter

From: Lily Evans

Date: August 14, 1977

Dear James,

Hello James. I'm turning over a new leaf here, and attempting to write an entire letter to you without criticizing, yelling at, insulting, or abusing you in any way. Even if you deserve it. I'm thinking of it as a type of intellectual challenge, I suppose, and it's helping.

Well, happy birthday to you! I hope it went well, although, knowing your mother, I don't see how it wouldn't. I've sent along a piece of chocolate cake from a bakery near my house, and providing it doesn't get squished, pecked at, or dropped from a great height, I'm sure you'll agree that it is absolutely delectable.

Okay, here's something to test my resolve in not criticizing you in this letter...you claim that your actions say you like me? Idon't want to talk about the pranks you've pulled that _hurt_ people. Myself included. Like the time in second year when you told Mel that we were engaged, and she refused to talk to me for a month. I know you thought it was funny, but I didn't have my best friend for a month there, and that hurt. There, I replied with facts, not making assumptions about your character or anything. So don't accuse me of breaking my vow (the one in the beginning of this letter).

Do I think I could ever like you like that? Um.

You think _I _twist your words? I didn't say that I'd "forsake friendships, love, families, _life_, for an education." I just pointed out that education is a huge road towards your future. It affects your job, your salary, your lifestyle, everything that's going to happen later on in life. I need a good education for a good job, so that I can have the lifestyle I want for the future. Does that make any sense to you?

You want me to name girls who are pretty and smart? Mel is, for one. Alice is. Katie Diggory. Amy Bones. Natalie Whisp. I'll stop there, but there are plenty more. And more still who don't go to Hogwarts. Not to mention all the pretty, smart muggle girls there are. Honestly, James, why you like me at all when there are so many other girls who have the qualities you profess to like in me…

Wow. Alright then, I suppose I was wrong. Good luck out there, though, when you do become an auror and fight you-know—fight Voldermort. I suppose you'll need it.

And just for the record, I beat your overall OWL scores. By about three points, it's true, but I did beat you.

Severus Snape didn't kill Remus's family. He didn't tell his father to do it, either. None of the Slytherins you torture did any of it. It isn't right to blame someone for the things their parents have done, or to punish them for being raised in a certain way.

It's going to be a "fend for yourself or die situation"? I'm sorry to hear that; I'm sure it'll be a terrible time. But that time isn't here yet. For now, I can still hope that you'll find some compassion for people without caring about their house, or their skills, etc. Even if it's not going to happen.

Humph. You try living with red hair and freckles for 17 years. See how "brilliant," "beautiful," and "striking," you feel.

Listen once because I won't say it again.

I. Do. Not. Like. Remus. Lupin.

Anyway, I don't think Remus combs his hair, either.

Yes, I'm usually short with you because I don't like the way you act. I thought that was fairly obvious. Oh, and James? I don't grovel. Not for you, not for anyone. Clearly, I shouldn't apologize to you anymore, not if it makes you think that I'm "groveling."

Yes, August 17 is rather soon, isn't it? But there it is, I suppose. Only three days left. As for Sirius and Mel…Well, Mel told me (and if you repeat this I will never speak to you again) that she thought he was rather cute. I mean, yes, after that, she did tell me that she hated every cell in his body, and that she was sure a bludger must have knocked all the neurons from his brain. But she also said she thought he was cute. So chew on that for a bit.

And just so that you know, I laughed at your "Sirius/serious" joke. Just for a moment before I caught myself, but I did laugh.

Okay, you asked me to tell you what I meant when I said that you seem like two different people. So here goes. (And yes, I'm about to break the vow from the top of the letter. I may end up insulting you here, but let me just say that what I'm about to write is what you _seem_ like in school.) In school, you goof off and don't pay attention in class. You make fun of the teachers, sometimes right in front of their face, and pull of pranks every chance you get. Some of the pranks hurt people, but you pull them anyway. You discriminate against people because of the house they're in. In school, you're not the kind of person I'd want to be friends with.

So, this summer, you started to write letters to me. You still manage to drive me up the wall every chance you get, but suddenly, you're different. You seem to think more, and have reasons for what you say. You're more—open-minded, and when I don't agree with you, you try to explain your point of view, instead of just telling me I'm wrong (as you've done on several occasions at school). You seen mature, and some of the things you've said in your letters, well, I just can't imagine _you_ ever saying them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems like you've changed, and more than I thought you could, stiff-necked as you are (and no, that's not an insult). And I'm not sure whether or not to take the change at face value.

It's a deal then. We're friends. Let's just hope it lasts more than the first few minutes after we meet. (And don't assume that Mel and Sirius will "start snogging." The very thought makes her sick at the moment; that's what she told me, anyhow.)

Your friend,

Lily

P.S. I've included a picture of Petunia's wedding dress for your mother. Hideous, yeah?

P.P.S. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me your address so Mel and I can floo over in 3 days, as well.

……………………....................Sick of looking at Putrid Green Wedding Gowns.................……………………


	9. James Discovers His Love of Ink

Stalker! Letters from a Bighead  
Chapter Nine: James  
Written By: The girl who writes James' letters.  
Disclaimer: Don't sue me. It's pointless. I don't own ANY of the characters, but possibly Mel, whom I co-own with Manchot du Destin.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------James H. Potter----------------------------

To: Lily Evans  
From: James Potter  
Date: August 15, 1977

Dear Lily,  
Good to hear it! An intellectual challenge, that's good, you always fall for those. Well, I'll do my best not to deserve it.

Thanks! Yes, it was great, got cards from everyone, Sirius even sent me a wicked Broomstick Servicing kit, so cool. Remus, of course, bought me a book. But not just any book. It was a book on Quidditch Tactics. Score! Yes, my mum was great, as always. Thank you, no, it didn't get squished or damaged or anything, it tastes great; I'm eating it as I write to you.

Well, some of them do. I never specified which ones, did I? And besides, I'm a 17 year-old guy. We're gits, mainly. I don't recall telling Mel that we were engaged... But if I did, then tell Mel I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that you lost your best friend for a month as well.

Well, could you? What the hell does "um", mean?

Yes, alright, so I was a bit overdramatic there. So what? It's true. And besides, I _know_ that education is a big deal. But hey, I'd rather be alive than be educated. And besides, I _am_ smart. I'm not being arrogant, it's true. You know it.

Mel might be smart. But I don't want a crazy hyper girl. Alice Longbottom? Nice, but way forgetful. Katie Diggory? Wouldn't work, her brother Amos would kill me. Amy Bones scares me sometimes. In a bad way. Natalie Whisp is all right, but I asked her out once, and the next day I found her snogging Peter. Ugh.

I don't want to settle down with a Muggle! I like you because... I dunno, I do! Does a bloke have to have a really excellent reason for liking a girl?

Thanks, you're right, I will need it.

Three points, Lily. _Three points_. That won't make a difference when it comes to getting a job. Thirty points, maybe.

Like I care. Snivellus never treated Remus with anything other than contempt, and his own stupid family killed Remus's. He could have at least apologized, but _no_, he has to harass him instead. Not to mention not showering. Ever. That in itself deserves punishment.

Yes, well, it's bound to happen. Sooner the better, sooner we can get it over with. And you're right; it's not going to happen.

Red hair and freckle are really cute, if you ask me. I'm hoping that my future kid marries someone with red hair and freckles, since you won't.

Is somebody getting defensive? Ah, it's alright if you do, I won't murder you for it, and Remus is an okay guy. A little on the moody side, though. And he combs his hair more than any of us do, except for possibly Peter, who keeps a large collection of combs under his bed. Um, forget I mentioned that, the ink won't come off paper.

August 17!! Two more days!! I can't wait until you guys get here, it will be like the Gryffindor Common Room, minus annoying little kids.

You can't resist speaking to me. A day after your vow, you broke it by screaming that I was an insufferable pig. (Two years ago, remember?) What's wrong with Mel thinking he's cute? But if he hears that, he'll get offended. He prefers going by "manly". Don't ask. So she hates him, but loves him?

Just for a moment, eh? I'm making progress. Slowly, albeit, but progress.

Oh, I'm not? But after this summer, and after the gaining of the knowledge that most seventh-year boys are gits, would you consider being friends with me at school? Or at least not scowling when my potion is perfect? I don't discriminate people just because they're not Gryffindors. Would I date Ravenclaws otherwise? It's just Slytherins. And don't tell me you don't mind them, I always see you glaring at them, not unlike you glare at me and my friends.

You know why I seem different? It's because I have to write to get my thoughts across. I mean, at school, it's just there, and I guess I sort of assume you get it, because you're smart and all-knowing like that, but since you can't actually see me, I have to show you my feelings. Does that sort of make sense? Wait, you can't imagine me saying them? Like what, the part where I tell you that I'd like to snog you senseless (I hate how ink doesn't come off paper)? I'd never tell you that to your face, I'd get hexed.

Stiff-neckness, eh? Neat. Believe whatever you want to believe.

Nice, can't wait to see you. And Mel, of course. Sirius can't wait, either. At the moment. Heh. That should be interesting.

Yours,  
James

P.S. Extremely. I'm surprised Vernon didn't puke at the wedding. I know I would if you came down looking like that. But then again, you're pretty no matter what you wear, so- I hate ink.

P.P.S. Oh, of course. 23 Godric's Hollow. If you can't remember it, I've charmed it to work as Marauder Headquarters, as well.

------------------------------------- See You!!----------------------------------------

A/N: When Lils and Mel get to James' house, would you like to continue seeing letters, or would you want to do one person POV with actual scenes? Any suggestions are welcome, we're not quite sure what to do.


End file.
